Making dried meat the delicious way.

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
01/16/2014 at 19:24 • Filed to: Foodlopnick, Biltong, Land Rover

Okay so I'm going to save you poor sob's from eating that cardboard you buy from the stores called "jerky". Today I'm going to teach you how to make !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , a food so delicious and manly you'll grow chest hair just by eating it (probably not).

What you are going to need is the following:

Meat of an inferior plant eating species: Beef, Elk, Deer, Moose, Vegan Prius driver... whatever. Remember though the quality of the meat will impact the taste so the Vegan might taste like dried feet or something.

Black Pepper corns

Coarse Sea Salt

Coriander seeds

Red Wine vinegar

A large container suitable to hold the cut up meat and a bowl.

Prep time: 18-24 hours

Now some of you are probably wondering where the T eriyaki is in your whinny nasally girly voice, you know where it is? It's up your arse, that's where it is. Why don't you go drive your automatic Miata while you're about it ya god damn communist.

Step One:

Okay now that we have that, cut the meat into strips about 2 inches wide and about an inch thick. Really you can cut the biltong into any sizes you want depending on where you are going to hang it.

Step Two:

Cover the base of your container with a layer of salt, pepper and coriander.

Take the bowl and fill it with the red wine vinegar and "wash" the meat carefully placing it into the base of your container (pretty much all you have to do is dip the meat in making sure it is completely submerged when doing so). Only do one layer of meat. Now cover that layer of meat with a light covering of salt, pepper and coriander. Continue layering the meat and applying salt, pepper and coriander to taste.

Step Three:

Place your container with the meat in the fridge and let sit over night.

Step Four (day two):

Now that the meat has sat over night soaking in the vinegar it's time to hang it. Make sure the spot you've chosen is cool and dry (try to keep it below 60F) and hang away:

I chose to hang it in the garage, why? Because it's where men meet to do manly shit, that's why.

Now that everything is hung, let it dry for no less than 7 day's, you can add a fan to provide airflow which will help it dry quicker. Then enjoy!

DISCUSSION (25)

190e30-Now with COSWORTH > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 20:28

Kinja'd!!!

As a confirmed carnivore, this looks ridiculous.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > 190e30-Now with COSWORTH
01/16/2014 at 20:29

try it, easy to make and delicious.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 20:30

Once the meat has dried I'll post more pics.

Aaron James > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 20:38

My ex-wife's dad makes it like this using ground up goat meat in a dehydrator. Goat meat sticks are pretty tasty but they look like dried out cat turds.

Frank Grimes > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 20:39

Could I do it in my convection oven?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Aaron James
01/16/2014 at 20:42

Don't use a dehydrator, part of the taste of the biltong is imparted via dry aging. Is your ex-wife's dad South African? If he is I feel that I'll have to go to the embassy and have his citizenship revoked on this basis alone ;).

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Frank Grimes
01/16/2014 at 20:45

You could, but then it wouldn't taste as good. Large part of the taste is due to the dry aging. If you have a basement or the like you can do it or you can make a biltong machine which is basically a box with a fan and a 60 watt light bulb.

Kinja'd!!!

Frank Grimes > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 20:56

hmmm might have to try this as I have a basement. I just worry about bugs and dust and crap. Also just hanging meat up to dry seems sketch but I might be a wuss or just over worried.

CalzoneGolem > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 21:37

Hahahahahah Butt tongue!

Aaron James > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 22:16

No they're small town hillbilles. I've never made it myself. There's no worry of the meat rotting while it's just hanging there uncooked?

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 22:31

You know how much Mirin and sake go into a good teriyaki? Do it right, and it aint wimpy at all.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Aaron James
01/16/2014 at 22:33

That's what the vinegar is for and why you put it in the fridge over night, it cures the meat and prevents it from rotting. Granted you can't leave it there for weeks on end but I've left the meat up for about 10 day's without issue. So long as it doesn't get to hot or damp as then it gets mold on it.

Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 22:42

I have no experience with these things but have you tried gently toasting the peppercorns and corriander first before putting them in?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits
01/16/2014 at 22:43

Bah, ruins the taste of the meat. The point is to taste the meat and not hide it behind anything. I love Scotch but I'm not about to soak a steak in it, I can honestly say that every one of my American friends (most of them outdoors men/hunters) has preferred the taste of biltong over jerky.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CalzoneGolem
01/16/2014 at 22:45

Yeah but it's tasty butt tongue. You'd tongue the shit (excuse the pun) out of this butt.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents
01/16/2014 at 22:47

Never crossed my mind honestly. I try to stick to the KISS way of doing things, you are free to try it but biltong isn't smoked so adding a smokey flavour might seem out of place. At least to me, I mean I've been eating this stuff for the last 25+ years.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Frank Grimes
01/16/2014 at 22:52

That's what the vinegar is for, it pretty much kills everything and prevents anything from growing for a good long while. So long as you keep it cool and dry, once the 7 day's are up throw it in the fridge. This foodstuff was developed by the Voortrekkers (Pioneers) as a way of preserving meat while they were moving inland in a very hot climate.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 22:56

I will have to try it... it does appeal to the "salad is what food eats" part of my brain. (the 99%)

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits
01/16/2014 at 22:59

Beef is good but if you can make it out of venison, amazing.

Aaron James > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 22:59

Cool, I'll have to get a couple steaks and give her a try.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 23:02

definitely sounds worth trying. I love me some good jerky. btw, any advantage / disadvantage to cleaning the fat off the meat before drying? I tend to like my meats somewhat lean.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits
01/16/2014 at 23:17

Lean meat is fine, I love the fat but it's down to personal choice.

Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/16/2014 at 23:47

Toasting doesn't really impart smokiness. It releases the oils within the corriander and pepper. So you'd perhaps get a bit more of flavour from the spices than using them 'cold'. For ex, toasting and then grinding them and using them in curries is a common practice. Try a small batch next time :)

CalzoneGolem > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/17/2014 at 07:43

No doubt.

505Turbeaux > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
01/17/2014 at 08:21

I do this often and alot. Probably why my previously stunningly devoid of hair chest is now growing it